SPACE AND VOID
now that i've got time and space to breathe... somehow can't help but reflect about certain things said to me by different people in different contexts.
today i went to the beach to skate...in my trusty rollerblades, nice shades, and tied up messy curly hair.
yeah solitude is sometimes good when you have all the time to yourself, and all you hear is your own thoughts. (of course hopefully i don't hear voices heh)
was just thinking of certain words people said to me.
A: " you don't have to be perfect in what you do. don't need to feel so bad about it"
(while i was still in the hopeless stage of trying to skate...)
B:" you are doing a lot and sometimes i wonder if you know what you want. but if you're doing all this work ...you shouldn't be doing it for nothing."
(my mentor who observed my constant fatigue and octopus behaviour when it comes to work)
C:"you have to be careful with the way you speak to people. you tend to get snappy at times and this may affect your relationships with people."
(a concerned colleague who shared her thoughts about me in a candid manner)
Self awareness can only go so far, but thank god i have people around me reminding me of the very flaws that i sometimes take for granted. especially when i tend to indulge in a rather escapist mode when faced with the crucial question: what's next.
i tend to be quite a perfectionist and a sore loser. i remembered telling a friend long time ago that i really really hate to lose or look bad when i do something, and ironically, that prohibited me from learning a lot of things, because everybody's threshold of talent is afterall limited...and there's a ceiling to all this.
yes i can be very snappy and tempermental when under a lot of stress and tension. heh will find ways to work around that..it'll be a toughie since i'm one who wears my emotions in my sleeve...and i tend to be quite over the top in nature.
yeah true no one is perfect and no one can ever attain the state art of perfection. yet all my life i've been told how imperfect i can be at times..and it can be very painful.
sometimes it's a matter of letting go...learning to accept one's fault. to tell myself that it's really ok to falter for once...to fall down with grace... to fail...to disappoint...to backslide...to be vanquished by competition.
as long as one is true to oneself and perhaps that's the question i'm going to ask myself the whole year.
what am i going to do.
what are my aspirations
where do i see myself 10 years from now
how am i going to balance my dreams and constraints.
today i went to the beach to skate...in my trusty rollerblades, nice shades, and tied up messy curly hair.
yeah solitude is sometimes good when you have all the time to yourself, and all you hear is your own thoughts. (of course hopefully i don't hear voices heh)
was just thinking of certain words people said to me.
A: " you don't have to be perfect in what you do. don't need to feel so bad about it"
(while i was still in the hopeless stage of trying to skate...)
B:" you are doing a lot and sometimes i wonder if you know what you want. but if you're doing all this work ...you shouldn't be doing it for nothing."
(my mentor who observed my constant fatigue and octopus behaviour when it comes to work)
C:"you have to be careful with the way you speak to people. you tend to get snappy at times and this may affect your relationships with people."
(a concerned colleague who shared her thoughts about me in a candid manner)
Self awareness can only go so far, but thank god i have people around me reminding me of the very flaws that i sometimes take for granted. especially when i tend to indulge in a rather escapist mode when faced with the crucial question: what's next.
i tend to be quite a perfectionist and a sore loser. i remembered telling a friend long time ago that i really really hate to lose or look bad when i do something, and ironically, that prohibited me from learning a lot of things, because everybody's threshold of talent is afterall limited...and there's a ceiling to all this.
yes i can be very snappy and tempermental when under a lot of stress and tension. heh will find ways to work around that..it'll be a toughie since i'm one who wears my emotions in my sleeve...and i tend to be quite over the top in nature.
yeah true no one is perfect and no one can ever attain the state art of perfection. yet all my life i've been told how imperfect i can be at times..and it can be very painful.
sometimes it's a matter of letting go...learning to accept one's fault. to tell myself that it's really ok to falter for once...to fall down with grace... to fail...to disappoint...to backslide...to be vanquished by competition.
as long as one is true to oneself and perhaps that's the question i'm going to ask myself the whole year.
what am i going to do.
what are my aspirations
where do i see myself 10 years from now
how am i going to balance my dreams and constraints.
posted by justagirl @ 12:27 AM
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