faith and the lack of it

if there's ever a time i feel like my faith in general is waning, it is this time.

my faith in people, my faith in myself and my faith in god.

i don't know, i just feel a little overwhelmed now.

everyone's expectations of me is just too high sometimes.......i'm just too tired of considering other people's feelings all the time.

a little voice deep within would shout, " what about me?"

i just feel too too tired and exhausted always putting people's interest, likes, dislikes, etc in front of mine.

i also have my own needs and wishes......and it's just too tiring to be on the giving side always.

which explains my little impatience of late.

i suppose i've always been a hard worker...... not very talented in many things. but some people take for granted that i am gifted in those areas.

truth be told...whatever strength you see that i have, it's the fruit of many years of hard work and passion.

and in a strange way...i'm compensating my lack of faith in myself with sheer hard work on the side.

these two pressures are making me lose faith in god.

yes deep down i know it's wrong to do so....

and yes my trials will go by. blahblahblah.

just feel sometimes why on earth is he making me go through this?

is he trying to drive me up the wall?

argh.

i guess all in all...i just need a vacation. and some time alone to sort these negatives feelings out. ;)