DIFFERENT SELF

yesterday while waiting for a friend to meet me for lunch, i popped over to the good ol' borders for some nice book. yeah and i chose the random way to "feel" for the right book.

and there it was. haruki murakami's sputnik sweethearts.

i shan't dwell into the book content but there was one part which disturbed me so.....one of the characters wanted to go on a ferris wheel and peep back at her own studio apartment via the binoculars while she's on the ferris wheel. how bizarre is that? or warped? and then instead of viewing an empty room, she saw her 2nd self doing other things......and since then she was never the same again.

yeah...and i can really relate to this odd behaviour.

i have a guy's mind trapped in a girl's body and ambushed by a girl's heart and emotions.

sometimes when i am logically thinking about things, the guy takes over and is cold and heartless.

the girl is chained until someone manages to break through that wall and rescue her.

i have two different selves.

conflicting and weird.

and as V told me before that i should just make up my mind and stop being so conflicted as a person...i can't as that's the essence of who i am.

i am super masculine in my thoughts yet feminine in my emotions and outlook of relationships

ya......the pain of being able to understand both sides of the coin.

maybe one fine day my two selfs will be split...............when destiny takes place. i wonder which self would i rather be left with.

some cheesy songs from the past

you know what's the funniest thing. this used to be a child-hood song...

yes.. hehehe. quite funny how i actually sang along to this song to fall asleep..and hog onto the cassette tape that belonged to my mum's foster sister.

now it seems super inappropriate...for a child to listen to such content..but thank god my parents were liberal la..heh there shouldn't be any censorship for good music. :)

just another random song

heh this song really reminds me of someone.



TIMBALAND (f/ Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake) LYRICS

Give It To Me


[Timbaland]
Is it going? Is it going?
Is it going? Is it going?
I don't know.. what you're lookin' for

Oh yea boss
Come on

[Nelly Furtado]
I'm the type of girl to look you dead in the eye-eye
I realize when it come to it you don't realize why I'm fly-y-y
Seen you tryna switch it up but girl you ain't that dope
I'm a Wonder Woman, let me go get my rope
I'm a supermodel and mami, see mami
Amnesty International got bankdrupt, I'm on top, on lock
Love my ass, love my abs in the video of "Promiscous"
My style is ri-dic-dic-diculous, 'diculous, 'diculous

[Nelly + (Justin)]
If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't hear to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

[Timbaland]
When Timbo is in the party, everybody put up they hands
I get a half a mil' for my beats, you get a couple gra-an-and
Never gon' see the day that I ain't got the upper hand
I'm respected from Californ-I-A, all the way down to Japan
I'm a real producer and you just a piano man
Your songs don't top the charts, I heard 'em, I'm not a fa-an-an
Niggas talkin' greasy, I'm the one that gave them they chance
Somebody need to tell them that they can't do it like I can

[Nelly + (Justin)]
If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't hear to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

[Justin Timberlake]
Could you speak up and stop mu-mumbling, I don't think you came in clear
When you're sittin' on the top, it's hard to hear you from way up here
I saw you tryin' to act cute on TV, "Just let me clear the air..."
We missed you on the charts last week, damn, that's right you wasn't there
If se-sexy never left, then why's everybpdy on my shi-it-it
Don't hate on me just because you didn't come up with it
So if you see us in the club, go on and walk the other way
Cause our run will never be over, not at least until we say

[Nelly + Justin]
If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't hear to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

[Nelly (Justin)]
Oh.. (Damn, improve)
Oh.. (Damn, improve)
Oh.. (Damn, improve)
Oh.. (Damn, improve)

Oh.. (Damn, improve)
Oh.. (Damn, improve)
Oh.. (Damn, improve)
Oh.. (Damn, improve)

[Nelly + Justin]
... club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't hear to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't hear to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

recap

just on wednesday i went to have my hot yoga class in orchard...then hopped over to watch the local film leap years.

it was not bad and it did make me weep a bit...

totally reminded me what a wreak i am romantically haha.

for more details
http://www.mediacorpraintree.com/tly/

it kindda made me teared because i have a similarly tragic fated sort of relationship with someone who was so wrong for me and yet so right.

and that guy also miaed from time to time.

and as much as i try to forget him...i can't.

he'll always have a special place in my heart. perhaps i should just stop denying that and maybe truly..i can move on. :)

a brand new semester

yeah gonna restart work yet again after a blissful week break.

i'm gonna be very very busy...and it's quite frightening at the amt of stuff i need to do...yeeks.

so pai-seh if you don't get to read much blog entries here or chat or even see me haha.. all i can say is.... i barely have time for myself...so

for once...i think i'll like to take a break from socialising. :)

Fascinated with the mei gui hua

for some reason or other..i've found myself to be quite drawn to the rose this year.

but come to think of it..how can anyone not be?

After all, it's often depicted as the symbol of love and passion, romance and beauty...and only with its sheer scent can anyone be mesmerized.

yeah let me recall....

the rose was used in beauty and the beast.

it's often used in seductive moves of salsa and tango?

and yes it was also used in the da vinci code if i am not wrong? heh

perhaps to me...it's a symbol of my life la.. started all well, only to be cut by its thorn and yet i also know that i'll survive. :)

Moments of stoning

i listen to the following track when i'm feeling disillusioned, stoned, jaded, zen, detached from reality, discontented, and somehow it always manage to cheer me up in an odd way.

perhaps detaching emotions isn't everyone's cup of tea. but for me...it's the way i gain stability and sanity in my logic order of things.

my beloved friends

haha someone once said i seemed to have known my friends quite randomly. so this is dedicated to my wonderful friends

The one i knew randomly through
1) a friend's birthday party.
2) a jc classmate and choir.
3) irc channel to research on some people
4) choir in jc
5) during my school days to teach
6) a girly online forum
7) clubbing outing
8) at a class in ntu

and more of course :p

break my fall god

pls break my fall god....and show me the way.

i am seeking your way and trying hard not to rely on only my strength but also through you :)