UNEXPECTED MOMENTS

today i was doing the usual stuff at morning assembly.

then, a student whom i taught previously came up to me to pass me the teacher's day gift. yeah i felt surprised and very touched.

i only only mutter a "thank you"...."but i've only taught you for a while..." and it ended with a smile from him.

i don't know. i guess i felt pleasantly startled by this little gesture from an unexpected person and honestly speaking.......it felt good to get some thing in return for once.

another unexpected moment happened to me.

the unexpected person turns out to be such a good friend and it's amazing how little some people goto do to make you happy.

perhaps such things shouldn't be so difficult in the first place.

perhaps.

Simplicity

simplicity

love can be simple

happiness can be simple

joy need not be complicated.

and perhaps expectations can be simple as well.

i went to church in the evening and it suddenly dawned on me how simple yet enduring christ's love for us was.

so was the love of my friends for me and vice versa.

and of course earlier this morning, some special friend did make me feel happy....in the simpliest of ways.

it's amazing how some people make you feel at ease without trying hard...

yeah. i guess that shall be my mantra for the moment.

simplicity.

:)

RETROSPECTIVE

occasionally, we'll come to the point where we have to make a tough decision.

a decision that you wish you don't have to take because of the heartache involved. but now being older and wiser...i knew i had to do it once again.

i have to cut off links with parts of my life which are not fruitful and would only cause pain and emotional yearning.

in a way, i feel relieved that i did so.............and yet part of me feels empty once again.

it's like you've been thirsty for many months..and then you thought you've reached the oasis in the desert........yet it's only an illusion.

an illusion of what you think is to be.

perhaps, lost souls tend to love the comfort zone of illusion.

afterall, it fulfills all of your desires.

but then again...such so-called fulfilment is often made up of emptiness.

pensive stuff.

but one thing i'm grateful for is.............i'm found an anchor to help me remain sane in this stressful.......meaningless......world.

and i'm grateful for that.

IRRATIONAL FEELINGS

feelings can be so irrational and ridiculous that sometimes you wonder whether you are afflicted with some mental disorder which prevents you from being erm rational.

it is not indicated by time, space or place.

it is not determined by how much you invest now, later or in the past.

sometimes i wish i can just remove my heart........lock it up in some buried treasure chest..and never ever feel for another one again. (then again, i dun want to end up looking like an octopus for the rest of eternal life erm bluffing sailors into serving my boat.......ha ha sounds familar? if not..you goto brush up on your movie knowledge.)

yeah.

i have a huge weakness of getting overly sentimental over issues, people and events.
which can be a blessing as well as a curse.

sigh. dunnoe la.

should i turn back to the emotionless cold fish i was when i was younger?

or should i just remain the way i am...the vulnerable feeling idiot.

only god knows.

quizzie time

Your #1 Love Type: INFP

The Idealist In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship. For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up. Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive. However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space. Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ

Your #2 Love Type: ENFP

The Inspirer In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond. For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate. Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner. However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad. Best matches: INTJ and INFJ

What's Your Love Type?

songs express our innermost feelings and desires?

just when i was at a loss of words, i turn to the next best thing which is less abstract, something which could possibly touch my senses and make me feel. so there i was browsing some old songs yet again. i guess it's just human nature again, it spells our limited ability despite our pride in going beyond our limits.

our language prohibits us from expressing certain thoughts and desires.......words can sometimes be so insufficient that they fail to be accurate.

yeah i know i'm emotional.........probably that's why i love writing and singing and of course listening to fab music.

it's truly here i can feel free to lose myself......my senses, my rational thoughts, restrictions and so forth....just to be myself. :)

with or without you by U2

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And Im waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you

happily lost, sadly found

yeah, it's been quite some time since i've updated this blog. many reasons.

work being one of them. and of course, coming to terms with major events in my mediocre life, where i learn to live without certain things which have been close to my heart for a long time.

nay, not doing some reflection bravado...but rather just stating what's happening lately to me, or rather thoughts that linger in my head.

sometimes in life, i've always thought myself to be rather focused and i know what i want. but guess what, i no longer know what i want..........and the best part is, i'm just going to indulge in the blatant world of ignorance for a change, rather than just seek the truth all the time.

perhaps it's my way of escaping la. or rather running away, or you could say, it's cavetime for me.

it's my way of shielding myself from the rest of the world.

like i told my dad, only two major events earlier in my life have caused me to do it.

1991, 2001.

no, it's no number code..........not some cursed combination similar to that of the saga "lost", but rather.....just some events that shook me and i lost my nerve, and then seek solace within........which means.

alienate myself from people.

no no..i am not staying at home moping around...rather just remaining emotionally ambivalent for once......

perhaps this is what my life is about. sigh.

feeling intensely for something, only to lose it....and then feeling the emptiness of nothing.

alright, enough negativity for the month.