LIFE'S LESSONS

Yeah. the madness period is finally over. well at least i can breathe for a while during this short weekend. woohoo. some things i learnt over the wonderful month of september.

1) sometimes, you have to be honest. or rather. when it comes to relationships, you have to be upfront about your feelings. it could be expressing your concern for your parent, your sibling, your child or your lover. honesty doesn't have to be brutal, it can be tampered with some form of sweetness. what's more hurting that honesty is deception. what's more, perhaps honesty allows you to give your loved one the affirmation they need to hear for themselves..... to confirm and feel assured about how you feel about them

2) love is not about manipulation. it is about caring without a judgmental heart, yet it's also about making the person change for the better. :)

ending off with some lazy quiz

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

hmmm a charade of posts...usually signals a really bored person or someone who's overly stressed, go figure.

Deepest Blue - Give It Away

sigh yeah i fell in love with this....when ministry of sound included this in one of their remixes.

Deepest Blue - Shooting Star

ahhhh!!! i'm a fan of a disbanded band. :(

Wake Me Up When September Ends-GreenDay

sigh yes i love this song now. guess it's a few more days to the end of september

SIGH!

"Wake Me Up When September Ends"

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends

something's goto give

sometimes in life, you spend so much time searching for that very thing.
but when you finally do, you are simply too afraid of going after it.
you cling onto the past and wonder
is it worth the risk
is it the one
is this a delusion
why should i give up so much
for something that looks so ordinary.

perhaps that's the irony of life
we all seem to want life's extraordinary gifts
but it's actually the very ordinary that truly is extraordinary.

WORDS THAT TOUCH

yeah. i was at church again today. saying hi to the god almighty. sharing with him about my life. and today's readings were so apt. it's as if it's directed at me somehow.

i guess all of us need some form of spiritual guidance to serve as an anchor, and i've always found this once a week ritual a rather enlightening and uplifting session where my sanity is kept intact and i'm reminded of what is truly important in life. :)

James 4
Submit Yourselves to God
1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?
2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.

3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?

6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.


Yeah, i guess all of us want things that suit our whims and wishes...or rather for our own selfish desires..without knowing any better whether or not it is good for us. Somehow, despite my sinfulness and selfishness, god has always took care of me either from afar or through the closest of friends.

Many people misunderstand what it means to be a christian/catholic, or rather a believer of god, a disciple of jesus.

It is not leading the perfect life where you don't do anything wrong, but rather you have a trusting and loving personal relationship with a special god who is your friend and guardian, someone who holds your hand through this rough journey we call life.

Anyway, i shall leave this with one of my favourite quotes :)

Reinhold Niebuhr
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference"

Heiko & Maiko - Glucklich (Music Video)

yeah i love this video :) check it out. anyway it's german la. :p

WEEKEND QUIZ

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

Your Aura is Green

You're very driven, competitive, and even a bit jealous. However, you seek out balance in your life - and you usually achieve it! The purpose of your life: inspiring others to be better Famous greens include: Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Martha Stewart Careers for you to try: Guru, CEO, Talk Show Host

What Color Is Your Aura?

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

haha yes i am sort of like an only child..for the first six years of my life. always been a loner la. but generally forced to be a da jie too :)

IS THERE SUCH THING AS A BEST FRIEND?

Everybody deserves a best friend. then again, is there such thing as a best friend?
Well i was a sceptic intially,thinking that how is it possible to talk so much to just a friend every single day, given my insane short span of attention and rather roaming sort of mind.

But like there's some invisible universal law which everyone should know. Never say never.

Guess that's the theme for 2006. If 2005 was murphy's year, 2006's definitely a year which proved to me clearly that things which are impossible CAN BE possible.

Given that I have sort of made life-changing decisions and broke some rules of mine heh.

Yeah. i think i met my best friend :) But then again, i guess we all need best friends in different aspects of our persona, since we're all not one-dimensional creatures.

Like i have a best friend in clubbing, best friend in whining, best friend in reading, best friend in coffee, best friend in bitching, best friend in movies, best friend in confiding, best friend in shopping, best friend in etc.

you get the idea :)

some quizzies

You Belong in Los Angeles

Whether you'll admit it or not, a huge part of you likes being in the spotlight. And you may just have enough star quality to make it big in LA! Even if you don't become famous, you still belong in a place where you can get a year round tan.

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is passive and thoughtful. With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Your Stress Level is: 64%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now. Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out. Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation. Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life... You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material. You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are Superman

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. And pretty cute too. No wonder you're the most popular superhero ever!

What Superhero Are You?

Your True Love Is a Sagittarius

Why you'll love a Sagittarius: Deep and philosophical, you'll love getting lost in hours of conversation with your Sag. Your Sagittarius is curious and adventurous enough to keep you interested... not an easy task! Why a Sagittarius will love you: You're passionate about a few important issues, a kind of depth that Sagittarius finds very attractive. You're outgoing, flexible, and up for almost anything. You and your Sag will have tons of adventures together.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

SIMPLE RANDOM THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

hmm think i shall put down a list of stuff that had really made me happy at very low or no cost! :)

sort of inspired by the book Tuesdays with Morrie...where a dying professor talks about the important things in life, which many of us take for granted until hmmm we become like him.

1) Unexpectedly discovering a gem in a book or CD. yeah i don't believe in googling anymore, it's too purposeful and takes away the romance of finding a treasure in a hay stack. perhaps i'm a hopeless romantic in that aspect.

2) Hanging out with dear friends in a restaurant/pub/club/bar/cinema/park/whatever

3) the simple joy of being alive and being surrounded by loved ones.

4) Getting an unexpected praise or show of concern from the least expected person of all.

5)Getting to know a new friend... whom you hit it off with immediately :)

THE NICE F WORD

Friends is not just a word. It is not a concept or a simple notion. It exemplifies the basis of every human relationship, or perhaps existence. Even adam needed a female companion, perhaps what he wanted was not just a sexual partner but rather someone who could listen to his woes and basically be there for him.

In a way, i am grateful for one aspect of my life. My fantastic friends ;)
Just feel very blessed to have known a fantastic bunch of folks who go beyond the typical mould of singaporeans who just get by in life.

Very proud of my friends

They are a group of special, passionate, rich in the heart and definitely very driven ....especially when it comes to fulfilling their dreams and aspirations.

Of course, people may say that when your friends get married, they will move on and get too busy for you. perhaps.

then again... even if they do, they've already given me a lifetime of care and concern. :)

ok perhaps i shall enlighten you on the type of fab folks i hang out with.

1) The intellects /thinkers
2) the fun-loving bunch
3) the spiritually intuned
4) the rebels
5) the caring
6) the talented
7) the social animals

so there you go :)

thanks friends..heh :)

BURNT OUT

sigh. yes i'm burnt out. really exhausted these few days. wanna die. ha ha. but i guess just goto tolerate this month followed by october...and finally november...when hopefully things die down.

pardon me if i seem rather elusive and dao. just really terribly crazily busy.

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ) You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

Your True Birth Month Is February

Sharp Ambitious Spendthrift Loves reality Loves freedom Temperamental Low self esteem Honest and loyal Abstract thoughts Daring and stubborn Changing personality Showing anger easily Intelligent and clever Loves aggressiveness Quiet, shy and humble Learns to show emotions Rebellious when restricted Determined to reach goals Superstitious and ludicrous Dislikes unnecessary things Realizing dreams and hopes Too sensitive and easily hurt Loves entertainment and leisure Romantic on the inside not outside Loves making friends but rarely shows it

What's Your True Birth Month?

wow it's so true. i know myself so well heh.

Your EQ is 133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

ok la. i learnt things the hard way :p

SOME TUNES STUCK IN MY HEAD :)

DEEPEST BLUE
Shooting Star

Its a black and white picture
A smile from the past
That tattooed the moments we had
Like a treasured possession a gift from the gods
Everything is falling apart

You just don't care anymore
You're just not there any more

You're a shooting star that fell without a trace
And you shot so far that your mind began to race
What's the point in colour when your grey
'cos you're a shooting star that fell without the rain

I know that you're leaving and nothin stays the same
Broken heart adventures mislaid
numbed all my feelings
Take away the pain
The hour hand is stealing you away

You just don't care anymore
You're just not there any more

You're a shooting star that fell without a trace
And you shot so far that your mind began to race
What's the point in colour when your grey
'cos you're a shooting star that fell without the rain

Sonnenschein :: Heiko und Maiko

nanananana
sonnenschein
nanananna
sonnenschein
nanananana

Die Sonne scheint,der Tag ist hell.Das Leben geht mir viel zu schnell.Von 黚erall klingt Polyphon,das Mobiletelefon.Schalte lieber einen gang zur點k,und sp黵e es bringt Herzensgl點k.Erinner mich wie es einmal war,aufeinmal ist es wahrnehmbar.


nanananana
nananananana
Sonnenschein
nanananana
Sonnenschein
nanananana
Sonnenschein
Sonnenschein
nanananana

Aufgetankt und voller Kraft,sp黵e ich das Leben,fabelhaft.Was gestern war ist mir egal,die welt ist nicht nur Digital.Statt zu rennen,einfach gehen.Barfu?auf der Wiese stehen.Schau wieder in mein herz hinein und seh' darin den Sonnenschein.

Sonnenschein
Sonnenschein
nananananana
Sonnenschein
nananananana
Sonnenschein
nanananana
Sonnenschein

Translation from german to english:

nanananana sunshine nanananna sunshine nanananana
The sun shines bright, the day is. The life goes to me much too fast. Of 黚 erall rather polyp-hone, the mobile-telephone-switched a course sounds to 點 the k, and FR 黵 e it brings 點 me to Herzensgl like it once was more k.Erinner, up once is perceptible it. nanananana nananananana Sunshine nanananana Sunshine nanananana Sunshine Sunshine nanananana Filled up and full Kraft, FR 黵 e I the life, marvelously.
Which yesterday was me no matter not to only run the world is digital place simply go. Barfu? on the meadow stand. Look again into my heart and seh' in it the sunshine. Sunshine Sunshine nananananana Sunshine nananananana Sunshine nanananana Sunshine

i love the sounds of heiko and maiko :)

here's a link to one of their previous hits.


yes the ah lian in me has erm come out of the closet :(

SOME HAPPY THOUGHTS

yeah i am in a really good mood.

it's amazing how the lord comes to your rescue when you feel down.
Something has been bogging me for the past two months and yet god has send many angels in the form of friends and of course nice distractions so that i will not dwell on things that ought to have a closed chapter and move on from there.

of course that doesn't mean that i will dismiss the past and disconnect myself. more like taking a breather from engagements which will not be fruitful to begin with, or rather to allow myself to rethink...or perhaps not think anymore about it.

Perhaps optimism is the way to go...especially when you've got the lord our god behind you all the way. :)

TIME TO HIT BACK TO SLOWER TUNES ;)

Yeah since june i have been preoccupied or rather obsessed with rather punky, rocky, fast moving, angry type of music. Techno, trance, house, punk rock took centerstage in my little world of audio listening.

now i'm in love with bossa nova. the local girl who made it big in japan. :) olivia - a girl meets bossa nova 2.

she has the sweet honey-coated voice which i really love and of course it helps that some of my favourite jazz songs are also included in that album like kiss of life and wave.

but one song she wrote the lyrics for struck me mainly because it's sort of depicting what i'm feeling in my love life, or rather the lack of it.

yeah i might appear to be confident and rational at work, in the realm of love, totally the opposite. :) sigh guess after the rush-rush, exciting months of june to august, it's time to slow down, smell a few roses and listen to some fab lounge and bosa nova music.



Make it mutual (olivia ong)

A quiet moment by myself on the beach. a sweet feeling that is swirling in me. It's delirious. Now that's a sugar rush. My heart is beating oh so fast. And i hope i don't fall into deep too fast.

There's no need to rush. We can take our time. Let it go the natural way. We begin as friends> and who knows what? Where this could be taking me.

In this nice cool breeze. Yes i am all at ease. When i gush. And this sweet feeling comes to me. Can't deny, can't lie. Can't really face the truth. ANd I wonder if you're feeling the same way too.

You know what i would like? I'd like to get to know you more. Make that mutual. Boy, you know you wanna know me too.

This is how you feel. When you're here, I feel your vibe. And I hope I don't fall into deep too fast.

You're not the type. Who'll rush into things. And let it slip away. Yeah, i like your type. Caught up in this ride. It's kinda silly but i'll say

In this nice cool breeze. Yes i am all at ease. When i gush. And this sweet feeling comes to me. Can't deny, can't lie. Can't really face the truth. ANd I wonder if you're feeling the same way too.


ANYWAY if you wanna hear the song, its available at her official website.

http://www.oliviaong.com/disco.html

ONE YEAR AGO

i remember one year ago.. i was feeling deep sense of sorrow, sadness and it was time when murphy ruled big time. anything that went wrong really went wrong.

i remember i was at one of the worst place on earth working, counting the days i have left to go past. seriously speaking. i never ever had such a negative impression of any place before.

despite the bitter cold environment which i was faced with, i met a kind angel who offered to drive me to the workplace despite it not being on her way.

She asked me out for lunch even though i was just a temporary staff struggling to just let time pass by.

she showed me a simple gesture of friendship despite the fact that she won't get back much in return.

you could say that i actually thought i could be closer friends with her when i get back to the work place. i thought i thought.

i still remembered it was a celebration day ...and a friday when i last spoke to her and asked how she was feeling because she seemed to be down with a bout of illness.

And then, as cruel time was........i received news that she passed on, despite being so young and all.

it was a cruel time because just when i found light in a place of darkness...the very angelic characteristic of it just flew away. just like that.

In a strange twist of fate, i saw the best and worst in people.

those who cared for her did not fear showing their emotions and care and concern.

those who were cruel...merely speculated whether it was a suicide case, while others just wish people can just forget about her and move on.

i don't know.

yes death is a cruel thing, but honestly the moment we can forget about such a wonderful person leaving this earth.....is the moment that our humanity has truly left us.

looking back........i was asking god why did he have to send me to such a place...to experience such traumatic experience....

i kind of know why.

i learned to
1) cherish friends and family every day.
2) be emotionally stronger and more understanding towards others
3) be patient and tolerant.
4) not to take things for granted.

sigh perhaps i could use this experience as a source of strength. to remember that i too can be strong during such an event.

A TRIBUTE TO THOSE WHO HAVE INSPIRED ME :)

just as i was chatting on msn the other day with friends, i saw my jc tutor online. (yes..ha ha i have my jc teacher's msn address, believe it or not.)

i wished him happy teacher's day and thanked him for being such a great teacher in the past.

i guess after becoming a teacher just makes me appreciate what my teachers have done even more.

their effort, love, concern, heartache, which are not usually duly rewarded by the school, management or the ministry.

but nonetheless they soldier on and provide ingrate after ingrate such care and devotion.

needless to say..i was telling my friend the other day that if i never had such great role models, i wouldn't be a teacher today. :) so here's a tribute to them.

Chen Lao shi ( primary 2 form teacher and chinese teacher)
- this lady is one dragon lady who wears only cheongsams and always have a bun.
- really fiery and fierce...the power of fear is truly powerful when you can force 8-year-olds to memorise and recite paragraph after paragraph. and yet make them do well in chinese.
- in a strange way, she influenced me to be more quick and speedy when it comes to those horrid spelling exercises, where the dear dragon lady will just recite two or three phrases in a short span of ten seconds, expecting us to catch up.
- i learnt to deal with dragon ladies!! coz she entrusted me to be one of the monitors heh. yeah. first lesson on how to deal with a difficult female boss.

Ms Wong (primary 4 form teacher)

- she's candid and a really lively and warm teacher. i think i can identify with her in many levels because heh both of us know how to have fun and be airy fairy about things when needed.
- she pushed me in ways i never knew. she told my parents that she was disappointed that i didn't push myself in my english despite reading 40 books in two months :p
- she's one of the few teachers who still remembers me by name and face and until today i can just pop by and chat with her.
- she believed that i was a leader even though i don't think i deserved it. heh.
- in an ironic twist, she was then 25 years old when she taught me......now she's a happy mother of two, while i'm 25 and am a new teacher just like her :) 15 years ago.

what she taught me: warmth, friendliness......stretching beyond your own capability, and that there's nothing wrong with being too close or friendly with students.

Chen Lao Shi (p5 to p6 chinese teacher)

- she was a young teacher who just entered into the service, yet she exhibited true discipline, patience and care for us. i've always remembered her to be stern and yet very true to her calling. she truly believes in the profession. :)

Mrs Lee (English teacher in sec 3 to 4)

- this lady was truly a great leader in school and in a way, the beacon that ensures the standardised english will never fall ha ha.
- i've learnt a great deal about the language under her and gained some encouragement along the way.
- although i was never close to her, she has always inspired to do even better in the language...as i've always remembered this phrase of hers

" even today, i'm still learning a new english word"...so she made me less apprehensive about not knowing yet another word. :) yes mrs lee..i am still learning!!

Mr Chu (JC Economics tutor and form teacher)

- this man is one who can induce fear without much effort.
and mind you...induce fear in 17-year-olds to do stuff like mugging for his quiz..otherwise you will face his wrath.
- in a way, he engages in tough love.........may seem tough and mean but in all, he cares for the students and er he's one of the first teachers i have online.
i suppose that has influenced me...since my own class is on my msn list :)
- he taught me many things like being disciplined and motivated in your own study. explore on the subject and discover what else you can find out. being organised and neat. :)

yeah to these teachers and to others whom i didn't mention, thank you so much :)

WEEKEND THAT WENT BY

thank god for the long weekend.
after a really crazy two months worth of work, it's time for a breather...catch up on the backlog and meet up with friends.

i caught the movie The devil wears prada with friends and it was really great. i knew it'll be coz of meryl streep...one of the best actresses of our time.

or rather, one of the best real actresses heh.

although i've heard really bad reviews about the book. heh what to do. chick lit.

then the usual girls' night out which turned out to be ironic for my friend and normal for me.

in an amazing way, i think that i've found a best friend to share my stuff with, to club with and have fun with.

or rather i've found two really great friends over the past few months. although one will be the main stayer, and the other might just pass as a nice memory. see how things go.