WHY LIFE IS GOOD

yes.

i am happy.

i'm not saying i'm happy just to assure myself that i should be happy.

rather, it's quite strange that i am happy despite the fact that work can get crazy, i'm single and i do have many bills to pay.

i was just chilling out at home today after a night out with the girls....and somehow i feel quite satisfied with my carefree life for the moment.

1) my dad and sisters love me and are concerned about me. yeah god has given me a wonderful bunch of family members.

2) An uncle who still cares for me...ever since he took care of me when i was a baby. it's assuring to know a person believes in you unconditionally. i guess that's what money cannot buy and what true happiness is.

3)I have a wonderful job, a wonderful boss and a wonderful bunch of kids to nurture.

4) I am surrounded by fabulous friends who never failed to care for me, pick me up when i'm down and who know how to party with me. :)

5) I'm blessed with certain gifts which has made me life easier.

6) I have a god who cares for me and blesses me with the above examples.

i guess in a strange way, i just want to continue the way i am now. life seems blissful or rather perhaps i'm more easily contented after tackling with all those horrid storms.

perhaps contentment is not a bad thing afterall.

just a soft whisper of help

sometimes the gift that is endowed on us isn't really discovered until you truly need it or use it.

when do we need such notices in order to erm notice what we really have?

i guess perhaps it's our own self defence. weapon for us when we need to survive.

ok i may sound too abstract or just completely not making any sense. heh

must be the fatigue.

SIGH SO BUSY

yeah it has been quite an eventful week. so many things to do. so little time.

but in a sadistic way, i'm glad i am busy.

at least doing something fulfilling with my time. ha

anyway, no time to think, so no time to blog and reflect about stuff.

just doing, doing and doing.

learning to say no

sometimes in life, we goto be mean and be selfish.

i've learnt this the hard way though...

never knew how to say no because i knew how hurtful rejections can be.

then again, after going through instances where i was backstabbed, taken advantage of, taken for a ride, or just taken for granted........

i just feel..enough is enough.

no shall be my creed for the times i want to display my displeasure or simply...disagreement to something.

yes.

i am in the selfish mode.

i just want to take care of myself and take care of my family, and perhaps, occasionally do a rain check with my friends.

but other than that, i don't have an ounce of emotional energy left of putting myself in other people's shoes.

sometimes when one does that...one tends to forget to get back into one's shoes and be oneself again.

sigh. yeah.

contrary to my seemingly forthcoming and frank nature.........i do hold back quite a lot of punches...then i get punched inside out instead.

so my new motto of the month is.

put myself first and be honest with my feelings :)

i had a dream last night

i had some really vivid dreams last night which tend to be on the surreal side. it felt too real. as if it had happened to me or will happen to me.

then again, perhaps it's because i haven't resolved some issues at hand.

anyway the dream involved me, a naive 15-year-old (ok fine, i'm stuck in a time warp..then again it's dream land, so nothing makes sense) who secretly enrolled myself into some expensive prestigious boarding school.

and dated some hot guy there.

which is totally weird.

the weird aspect is that it was way too real...and hmmm i felt as if it had happened to me before, or worse, it's my alternative self in an alternative world.

very twilight zone.

well this was one of the series of weird dreams i had this morning.

more entertaining than tv and the movies ha ha

some words

it's been a tiring day back to work, where things just keep piling and piling.

sometimes i feel like a security guard, a clerk and a nanny - all rolled into one.

in a way, i'm glad that i'm burying in work so that unnecessary thoughts do not invade the inner spaces of my mind.

but at the same time, just feeling quite overwhelmed at the rate things are going.

so many things to do and so little time and energy.

which is why, i have all those "me" time.

yeah. goto keep my energy levels up man.

gonna be a really busy period...sigh god bless me. ha ha

TAMING THE WILD SIDE

just the other night, my friend said she never knew i had that side of me.

yes i do.

every has his or her own wild side.

nay,

i won't call it my wild side.

more like my more carefree side of my personality.

when left unleashed, the funloving side comes out.

but sometimes i do wonder......if i will ever get too old to have any fun.

or will the fun truly begin when i get older?

some random thoughts there for you.

seeking the other side of life

being a born workaholic, l simply let my life revolve around work, rather than let work revolve around my life.

so the year 2006 seeks to discover my own life. my identity. who i am. what i can learn as a person.

therefore i went to undertake some plans. heh

the fitness programme.

the volunteering programme

being more in touch with my sprituality programme.

basically it's a me-first approach for now...until i discover who i am truly once again.

being single can be liberating as you somehow realise you have so much time on your hands and that suddenly, you only have to answer to yourself.

it can be liberating or lonely....but of course that depends on the person.

it's normal to feel lonely and lost for a while...which is why i'm glad my workload is increasing, my social circle is widening, my exposure to life as whole simply blossomed.

in a sick way..i suppose it really feels good to be selfish for once.